Coming Back Home

“The ache for home lives in all of us, the safe place where we can go as we are and not be questioned”

Yes, i picked this up online and how ever cool it would have been, this wasn’t the thought that had come to my mind when i landed back home. India, my home country! After almost cancelling twice, missing the train to the Airport and rushing in at the last moment to find my seat occupied by a really hot British girl, i almost thought this was a sign. “Turn around and go back son”. Well then i thought i might as well go till HK now that i am on the plane (yeah she had the aisle seat next to mine while she wanted the window seat... and yeah i did let her sit at the window...). Finally after 15 hrs i landed in Mumbai (they upgraded me to business class from HK to Mumbai, so i couldn’t really say no) and after a lovely and welcoming conversation with the immigration officer about why don’t i have my visa stuck on the passport and why do they have it online and convincing him of the fact that they don’t allow you to stay in Australia for so long unless you HAVE a visa, he allowed me inside my own country. The first thing you notice is that the people here are more, well ‘people’. You see five guys in a row without a six pack and ten women in a row without the ability to carry a really small skirt off and you know you are among your kind. It is only after you get rid of this insecurity of yours and gain confidence again that you notice the other distinguishing feature that everyone is brown.

I had completely forgotten the kind of welcome you get when you travel in India and was reminded of it in a rather fancy way. At 4.30 in the morning, you walk out of the international airport on red carpet with lights focussing on you from above (whoever thought of that) and hundreds of people cheering around you, dying to reach you while behind red tape and you feel like a movie star. It’s an incredible feeling just to walk out and smell the morning air. Except, when you do smell the air, it stinks (no offence folks, i love my country a lot, but it’s a fact). And then you listen to the cheering crowd around you more carefully and realize they are travel agents and drivers looking to cash in on international customers, screaming to get you to stay in their hotel or travel in their cab. The noise, the smell, the colour of the sky, look of the streets, different as it may feel, never once deters you from feeling relieved, a strong feeling of being wanted again, of being a part of the crowd and not stand out as an outsider. A four hour drive home from the airport to Pune and it felt like i had never left.

We all want to travel and see places, go to another country, meet new people, learn new cultures etc etc. Especially in India, going abroad is the most exotic thing any young boy or a girl would like to do. Every bright kid educated enough to locate ABROAD in the map is looking for a way to go. What calls them is money, civilization, better standards of living, hot white women, or god knows what else. But sadly this only lasts for a few month after you have lived abroad. You start to think that you were better off visiting the godforsaken country as a tourist. The main reason can be explained by asking one simple question – What motivates us? You can say success, power, achievement, blah blah, only if you want to win a beauty contest. What really motivates us is friends, family, your loved ones, people you really care about. You can make friends anywhere you go in India so you don’t feel such a need here. Hell there are so many people, how difficult is to find someone who shares the same frequency as yours anywhere around here. But can you find that same comfort with a white guy? The answer is a simple NO unless you were born there and have grown up with them. The gap in the culture is too wide to fill by the being open minded and being flexible and versatile. Simply accepting change does not change you. The urge is too strong and those who don’t yield to it continue to pretend that they are happy, while not being anywhere close to it.

Well i am home and grateful that i only have another 16 months to go before i can finally be back to the people i care about.

Humor

Oscar Wilde said "Seriousness is the Refuge of the shallow", funny of him to say that, hell he was an artist. Humor is the only act of defense a man knows in the civilized of a world that we live in today. An insecurity that dwells in most minds of average intelligence that they will never be on top and will always have people ahead of them. Yet they aren't last too and are smarter than as many number of people. It really is a funny feeling not to be able to see your self in the shades of black and white and it really gets to you. "How do you hide this mediocrity". Those not so capable plead stupid and wear that title gladly and proudly. While the smart are too busy changing the world and fulfilling their potential, they never suffer from an identity crisis. When you are good; it shows. How does one walk among these men; my fellow mediocres with an identity; a name. How do you explain this limited capability to people convinced that its your fault that you have limitations; well, there comes humor. A medium that shields you against all pointing fingers ("well hey, four are still pointing at you") and all questioning eyes ("would you please stop checking me out, its embarrassing"). You can voice your insecurities, insult, avenge, snitch, ditch, annoy, hurt, abuse, or maybe dump too (most horrible of them all) in the name of humor and get away. We live in the age of mediocrity where competence is either lots of money or just a big burden. Only these two reasons can justify a man not having a sense of humor.

One Race

I read somewhere (somewhere usually means online), a quote that said "When we are unemployed, we are called lazy; when white men are unemployed, its called a depression". I come from probably the most international race that exists on the earth today. The most surprising thing is when an Indian goes abroad, how surprised he/she is after finding another Indian (even though they walk by without exchanging an expression). We trot the globe and can be found living in the snowy Alaska to the desert of Central Australia.

The European imperialism brought civilization to the remotest part of the world. It brought with it trade, industry, technology, knowledge and culture. Wars were fought and today we are a world of free nations. Numerous wars brought upon us resulted in a dawn of a new realization - Wars are terrible and thus must be avoided at all costs (this opinion obviously has existed since the time wars started but was mainly restricted to those who were too weak to gain anything from a war). So, decided! No wars! Now what? There emerged a new form of imperialism. British ruled the world by the strength of there Explorers, Admirals and 'Ships of the line'. They subdued people by forming treaties, protectorates or colonies. Sounds such a waste of effort really. We are witnessing a new form of imperialism today. The second biggest population is expanding its horizons and slowly and steadily taking over the world. We are a race with a vision. Instead of thinking of tomorrow and our lifetime, we think two generations ahead. Like the first settlers (Indian explorers) settled in USA and Canada years ago and slowly we are rising among the ranks. UK has the biggest population of Indians outside of India. Well they should have thought about that when they named their exploration ships as "The Indiaman" back during there imperialism days. We saw our name and followed them. You find an Indian at the wall street to Washington DC and not as a tourist but as one who runs the place.

I came to Australia like any other Indian hoping not to see another Indian for a very long time but again, i was going to Sydney. My dreams were shattered within 15 minutes of landing when an Indian airport security ogled me rather discouragingly ("here's another bloody brown b*****d" i am assuming he must have said under his breath) and soon enough i had a firm estimate of how many Indians lived here. Its an interesting thought that when the British left us to mind our own business, they forgot one very important thing - we Indian are the kings of adjustment. We can adjust anywhere and with anyone. We adjusted with Mughals, with British, we adjust with religion, with gods, in spaces, with governments, basically with anything and everything that has no further room for adjustment. Its been seven months and i am adjusting well in Australia. I can say that the reports on attacks on Indians so enthusiastically marketed by the Indian media aren't as bad as they were made to seem but hey - they need something to report, so lets cut them some slack. Yes its a white country full of machines, where shops open at 9 a.m. sharp and close at 5 p.m. where streets get deserted after 8 p.m. and one can walk to the beach anytime of the day to find it quiet and beautiful. And just like that the image crumbles starting friday evening when each and every man and woman who has a mouth and a pair of shoes heads straight for any place they can find that sells booze. By 11, once can easily find at least a few men and women passed out on the streets, lying unclaimed and rather comfortable. Every car can be found breaking the speed limit, every girl screaming or sobbing, every man too angry or too happy for their own good. "To alcohol... The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems". A country most of which lives on pension, free education and drinking, you would be too unkind if you expect them to be saints (well, certainly not until Sunday evening). So while walking on the streets you get those "horn followed by the finger", words of wisdom like "go home you brown m****r f****r", a push here and a shove there but hey, we adjust. After all we are all racists. There are only two kind of people in this world; one - racists and the other - Racists who pretend they are not racist. I mean look at our caste system, what is it if not racism. Riots in the name of religion, killing people over gods; a bunch of people convinced that god is some materialistic being sitting high up there gleefully sniggering at another god and saying "Ha! look, they broke your place of worship and built mine on it. I win! Suck it you loser..", and reward the people who did it. and the latest being Maharashtrian and non Maharashtrian issue so thoughtfully raised and brought to our notice by the greatest patriots our country has ever produced - The MNS. A bunch of benighted fools who want Maharashtra to have everything an independent country has except the formal status of being so. We are racists and so is everybody else. Its just that some have learnt the art of adjusting. Though, there are none who can match the masters.

Anyway, just like the Aborigines in Australia and the Aztecs in the Americas, the race of white men is on a decline and soon the world will be filled with beige children who will grow up in a familiar world without having to differentiate between different ethnicities. This world will be one for them and will have people of one kind. And so the people of this earth will finally be one family; one big Indian family (with a few Chinese thrown in as well).